With Him or Without Him?

Before the Passover celebration, Jesus knew that His hour had come to leave this world and return to His Father. He had loved His disciples during His ministry on earth, and now He loved them to the end. It was time for supper, and the devil had already prompted Judas, son of Simon Iscariot, to betray Jesus. — John 13:1-2, NLT

Jesus watched Judas walk out the door. 

Think about that for more than a moment.

Jesus watched his friend purposefully choose to side with the enemy. He saw the hardness of a heart that valued a handful of silver coins over the fate of the rabbi he had followed for three years. Jesus felt the betrayal to His core as He looked upon the back of a man who would deny God’s love in exchange for worldly wealth and forfeit eternal life for fleeting pleasures.

Jesus watched this happen.

Mere minutes before, Judas had been touched by the Teacher’s hands washing the dust from his feet, but he failed to remain with Jesus long enough for his soul’s betrayal to be cleansed.

Even after three years of living and traveling together, hearing Christ’s words, seeing myriads of miracles firsthand, and knowing nothing but Jesus’ kindness and love, Judas still walked out the door. 

Without Jesus. 

“As soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out. And it was night.”
— John 13:30, emphasis mine

I can’t help but note the similarity of this Last Supper with the first Passover meal in Egypt when the lamb’s blood enclosed the Israelite’s doorposts, securing the home’s inhabitants from the fallout of God’s wrath. In Exodus 12:22, God instructed His people to remain in the house until morning to avoid the angel of death. 

The covering of the lamb’s blood was their sole protection against the darkness of the night. 

Judas deserted the Light of the world to step into the darkness, surrendering his soul to the works of evil. And it broke Jesus’ heart. 

Knowing our Savior’s love for sinners, which was about to be publicly displayed through the finality of His death and resurrection, I imagine the heartache was more for Judas than Himself. 

Matthew Henry wrote, “The sins of Christians are the grief of Christ.” 

Nowhere is this statement more obviously seen than in the suffering set in motion when Judas walked out the door. The grief of our sins about to be borne by our Savior became far weightier than the crossbeams He dragged down the Via Dolorosa. The pounding of our unholiness was more painful than the nails driven into His hands and feet. The sorrow of our transgressions pressed deeper than the crown of thorns beaten into His brow.

Not one of the disciples assumed to know who was bent on betrayal. No one’s eyes automatically turned toward Judas. Only Judas and Jesus were privy to the darkness overtaking a soul. Others may have been clueless about Judas’s inner struggles, but Jesus was not fooled. He knew Judas’ heart. 

He knows mine, too. 

While part of me wonders, “Judas, how could you?” I quickly turn my accusations inward. How often have I swapped righteousness for sin and willingly stepped away from Christ? Too many times to number.

Every thought and temptation that runs contrary to His truth. 
Every stumbling block that trips my soul, enticing me toward darkness.
Every bit of me that is completely His . . . and every piece yet to be surrendered. 

Jesus knows.

Judas forfeited the Lamb’s covering when he left the Last Supper without Jesus, leaving himself open to destruction. He abandoned eternal protection for temporary satisfaction — one so fleeting he could not even enjoy one shekel of his betrayal. 

I’m thankful the atoning blood of Jesus remains my protection, silencing every accusation with unlimited grace.

And what is required of me?

Stay with the Lamb.

With Him? 

Or without Him? 

The answer is yours to choose. 

As for me, I choose WITH Him.

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This post was written in conjunction with a word prompt from https://fiveminutefriday.com/2025/04/17/fmf-writing-prompt-link-up-without/ Disclaimer: I have taken the liberty to utilize more than five minutes of writing time. I hope you are encouraged by these thoughts from Scripture, regardless.