To Query or To Glory?

I was reading from a devotional book this morning in a dimly lit room. Whether due to my aging eyesight, the lack of light, or a combination of the two, my brain mistakenly interpreted the word “glory” as “query.” Before finishing the sentence, I realized my error and corrected the word in the familiar verse, “We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (Romans 5:3-4, emphasis mine)

Truth be told, I more often camp out in “query” than “glory” during times of suffering or trials. Generally, my first response to pain is not to revel in the situation but to question it, or to at least have some reservations about it. Yes, “query” most aptly describes my initial reaction to suffering, quickly followed by a search for escaping it. 

“God, why?” seems a legitimate question when suffering comes knocking at the door. Yet the call of Romans 5 compels me to confront things in a different light, challenging me to find joy in the pain. Not in some twisted self-inflicted measure, but looking toward the end gain found in suffering. 

Because suffering yielded into our Savior’s keeping partners with His grace.

This grace enables me to persevere through situations I’d rather not only parry with a query but altogether avoid. This same perseverance refines character and somehow produces hope, which is not the outcome toward which my human mind naturally gravitates. Honestly, the tendency toward overwhelming despair seems a more accurate description of my often unsettled state. 

It’s no surprise that query and glory meet two different ends. Questioning everything negative coming my way in life generally sends me spiraling. I question, then quickly doubt all I once held to be true. “If God is good, then why is this happening?” threatens to topple my belief.

Doubt, left unchecked, leads me to interact in ways contrary to faith. Instead of approaching my heavenly Father with confidence, I begin to have some reservations. A bit of mistrust plants itself in my heart. Instead of questioning the situation, I begin to question God. And while I believe it is okay to ask Father for clarity, it is not okay to approach Him with accusations. Girl, you forget yourself.

If only I could train my willful spirit to self-correct as quickly as my reading skills did. Ironically, it was the very word sufferings that prompted the literary correction, even before the fulfilled promise of hope appeared — which is another sermon in itself.

How I wish the rest of me could adapt so easily. 

Perhaps you need your spiritual eyesight corrected, too. Maybe life has dealt you some unimaginable blows that have left you reeling. Maybe betrayal has blindsided you, or an unexpected diagnosis has knocked the wind out of your spiritual sails. Whatever the trial, the temptation to spin out in questioning might seem your only response. But today, I invite you to choose a different path. Would you join your prayers with mine and ask Father for the courage to let your heart be held even in this?

Lord, please correct our spiritual vision as You lead us along these paths marked out for us. Lift our heavy hearts and breathe Your mercy over us when we can barely catch a breath ourselves. Keep our eyes open and trusting, even when suffering comes. Carve out our hearts as a channel for Your grace to be the strength of our perseverance. May we cling to You and trust Your glory to blaze a trail for hope to take up residence within us.

We know what we are called to do in times of suffering. But knowing does not automatically change how we feel. It doesn’t negate the hurt. And it doesn’t magically shift our circumstances. So we ask for Your mercy and trust You to be with us. Here, in the middle of the pain.

No matter the circumstances, may Your kingdom come to us and Your will be done through us as we lay to rest the questions and choose to glory in Your ways that are higher than ours.

Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.  – Hebrews 4:16