I often find myself copying phrases from books, scrawling quotes into a journal to be pondered later. Unfortunately, my rush-ahead-to-fill-in-the-blank penchant can sometimes overrun my transcribing skills.
While penning words from Alli Worthington, I hurriedly began to scribble, “What does God want you to do . . .” before I realized I was incorrectly completing the sentence. I paused before correcting my mistake and writing the actual quote: “What does God want to do with you in His kingdom here and now?”
It came so naturally for me to write the words, “What does God want you to do . . .”
However, it does not take a genius to realize that “What does God want you to do?” and “What does God want to do with you?” are two very different questions.
Working with God instead of for Him seems to be more to His liking. And it takes the pressure off of me. Meaning the end result no longer rests upon my sagging shoulders. He knows I’m not up for the task on my own anyway.
Much of my struggles in life come from resisting this divine partnership. I continually think God wants me to perform a solo act when He’s actually inviting me to join Him in a dance meant for two.
One where He takes the lead.
It reminds me of an experience from my daughter’s wedding reception.
I am not married to a man who dances. Hence, it literally had been more than 30 years since I’d been spun around a dance floor (We’re talking high school prom here.) As much as I enjoyed dancing in my teen years, since then, I’d contented myself to simply watch from the sidelines.
Which is where my daughter’s new brother-in-law Seth found me. It lends to the story that Seth is not a stranger to me. He is a family friend who had actually lived in my home for more than a year, becoming a surrogate son of sorts. That context of familiarity is relevant to this scenario.
When Seth invited me to dance, at first, I resisted. It wasn’t that I was uncomfortable with him. It was me I was concerned with. I was certain to look foolish and would likely embarrass myself. Used to merely watching, I was not prepared to dance, even though I secretly envied everyone else who was.
With a little bit of coaxing and a gentle, albeit insistent tug on my hand, Seth pulled me along. I remember arguing, “I don’t dance,” “I don’t know what to do,” “I haven’t danced in like thirty years.”
And all the while, Seth just smiled and said, “It’s okay,” as he encouraged me to follow his lead.
Yielding to his simple instructions, I stumbled my way through. Not once did Seth chastise me for my clumsiness nor cringe when I misstepped, even if it was upon his foot. He continued to speak encouraging words as we swayed to the music, alerting me before spinning me in circles or stepping in a different direction.
While I was entirely at his mercy, he was in complete control. And in his comfort zone. Because that boy can dance. Even if I can’t.
Seth was more than capable of leading me as long as I was willing to follow. I slowly relaxed and began to get over myself. Once I realized he was okay with my fumbling along, I even started to enjoy it. No longer self-conscious about dancing in front of others, I was focused on my instructor, listening to his voice and mimicking his movements.
Instead of fighting against or trying to go my own way, I followed along the direction he was gently guiding both of us. I may not have been as graceful as I would have liked, and there’s no denying our performance was not Dancing with the Stars quality. But that was never the intent.
Honestly, I think Seth invited me to dance just for the fun of it. Just because he wanted me to enjoy something with him. Or perhaps because he noticed the way I longingly watched others do what I wished I could.
I’ve learned much from that simple dance. Lessons I would do well to apply to other areas of my life with my heavenly Father.
God invites me on an incredible journey, but all too often, I hesitate to join him. Instead, I come up with all manner of excuses.
“I really don’t know how to do this, God.”
“It’s been so long since I’ve attempted anything like this. What if I mess up?”
“You surely don’t want to dance with me when there are so many others who are more accomplished. More qualified. Less embarrassing for you to be seen with.”
And God just smiles at me, gently grasping my hand and leading me toward the dance floor.
“It’s okay,” He whispers to my anxious soul.
It seems He knows my desires — those things I truly want, even when I can’t quite identify them myself. Or come to terms with the longings that are in my heart.
Because sometimes I really do want to dance. Even if I don’t feel capable of it.
Father knows I am uncertain of myself. That’s why He wants to be the One who takes the lead. Because He can navigate every step with finesse.
And when I lean into His strength and let Him guide me, so can I.
I may not do it flawlessly. I may stumble a time or two, but I am held secure through it all. His strong arms steady me, maneuvering around every obstacle. And when I start to relax into His leading, I begin to experience the joy of the journey.
Instead of fleeing the dance floor or attempting to take the lead on my own, I learn to move in step with Father. My surrender to Him is what makes it sweet.
When I cease my expectations of performing for Him and instead do all of life with Him is when joy begins to flow into me and through me.
No matter what direction life takes, God knows what He created me for.
And I can trust Him with that.
Because my purpose is not my own. It is ours.
I would not have stepped onto the dance floor with a stranger at my daughter’s wedding. But I let a friend lead me there.
I pray the same holds true for all the divine songs playing throughout the remainder of my life. I want to succumb to Father’s lead even more readily than I surrendered to Seth’s reassuring voice. Knowing that the One who guides me is a Friend who can be trusted.
Even when I feel ill-equipped, God is there to lovingly whisper, “It’s okay.”
Because He knows it really is.