Among the many things I am grateful for, the DELETE button on my keyboard ranks in the top ten. This tiny black and white button has kept my foot from inserting itself in my mouth on numerous occasions. In truth, said appendage leaps there often enough with my verbal speech without getting a boost as my fingers tap across my laptop.
While there is a host of useful information to be found at the press of a button, unfortunately, social media also offers an invitation for a myriad of indiscretions to be made just as easily.
We share personal offenses, snap judgments, and scathing reviews on every topic imaginable. We are as quick to jump to conclusions as we are to jump on the “me too” bandwagon — speaking our minds about any number of matters — whether we are well-informed, misinformed, or uninformed.
And what lies at the root of it all?
Chances are, it is not because we are hoping someone gains strength through our message. More often, our sharing becomes a vendetta against a particular person or people group, an institution, or even our past. Someone or something has struck a nerve and made us feel somehow less than on a personal level, so we vent to the world things best discussed in private. If not left unsaid entirely.
Professionals are offended if asked to share what they consider a trade secret, even if the person posing the question is merely asking with curiosity or genuine interest. FYI: Not everyone is out to steal your prize-winning recipe and use it to compete against you at next year’s county fair. Seriously, why hoard Great Grandma’s apple pie recipe to yourself when others could be enjoying a slice of deliciousness?
Not every question is asked with an angle to swindle you. Sometimes people are interested in what you do without any thoughts of competition. Or comparison. Or desire to be just like you and take your place in the professional world. (Or any other place you may inhabit on terra firma, for that matter.)
I’ll admit, there may be a few shysters out there who approach you with a deceptive agenda, but don’t judge the majority of folks based on a small minority. And for heaven’s sake, there’s no need to address every private conversation on a public venue, disguising your venting as a much-needed PSA. Generally, all it serves to do is stir up others and lead us all toward validating selfishness or bringing up past issues better left there.
Seldom does the person who asked a question or made a silly or thoughtless comment even realize they inadvertently offended you in the process. Yet here we are, raking them over the coals in public anonymity, whether or not they’ve had opportunity to clarify their statement or apologize if an apology seems necessary.
What is the point, people?
Instead of being quick to call out another’s faux pas, what if we shared from our own adversities? What if we were equally as open about personal struggles? What if we discussed how we overcame trials (or are currently striving to conquer them) so we can help our fellowman overcome theirs, too? What if we shared the secret to our success so others could get ahead in life, as well?
There is constant talk of advocacy and growing in community, but it takes on a different bent when we are the ones asked to undergo the growing pains.
We’re all for supporting others until it costs us a little more than we want to give. Until competition rears its head and we grasp for control in our desire to be first or best.
We’re all about sharing our stories, as long as our stories portray us in a positive light.
But what will it take to confess our shortcomings as readily as we point out the offenses of others?
In a world where hurt falls upon hearts as rapidly as fingers fly across keyboards, let’s choose a better way. Let’s choose a loving way. One that challenges us all to grow stronger. And kinder.
Let’s purposefully do unto others as we would have them do unto us and watch the world become a better place.
For all of us.
Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up the one in need and bringing grace to those who listen.
— Ephesians 4:29
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FOR REFLECTION
Do you ever find yourself sharing words on public media that you would never speak in a face-to-face conversation? If so, what do you think lies at the root of your actions?
Does love motivate your responses to others more than a need to defend your beliefs or opinions?
It is hard to be gracious when you may feel as though all you believe and trust in is being questioned, but that is what God encourages us to do. A soft answer can dissolve anger, and silence can be golden in lieu of verbal retaliation. The next time you are tempted to allow your words to spew forth things best left unsaid, ask for divine intervention to curb your tongue and still your fingers.
Instead of retribution, let’s turn our hearts to prayer and allow God’s love to be the loudest voice of all.